The "moment"

At times we get so selfish or actually blind when we aren’t able to see through fogs, and mist…when we aren’t able to identify who is ours and who’s not. And the day we realize that the people who were actually ours we rush towards them just to find that they are leaving or have just left. So that nothing can be done now, nothing can be done except feeling the guilt of not acknowledging them when they were around. Now either they are so far that they can’t be reached or all of us are to busy making our ends meets that getting those moments back again is impossible…..

Didn’t want to do the mistake again so just thought of telling him how much I have loved him, from the day he came in my life.

I was getting ready when papa told; I’ll be seeing him today!

I kept questioning myself,

How would he be like?

Would he be like me?

Would he become my best friend?

Would he help me out with whatever I do?

Would he be a party to all my mischiefs?

Wanted to see him right at the moment but papa did not agree, he wanted me to do my day’s work (my school), finish off with it before I could finally see him.

I went to school somehow making the day passby, and when I came out of the school gate papa was right there on our scooter (can’t recall the name, have always been bad at this……..but what if there were better renaming plans!)

We went to “maya pathak nursing home”, where I could actually meet him.

I was asked to wait there and after sometime a lady appeared in white sari, the same color my dress was came from a door, she had something in her hands tightly wrapped. it would be him, to meet whom I had waited for a long day…as she handed over the thing to me, I saw him for the first time, he was paler then I had ever seen anyone, his eyes tightly closed…I made an attempt to wake him up, but he closed them with even more force, as if they were glued. Before I could see him properly and ask him, all those questions I have been asking myself the whole day. I felt something wet on my white skirt…

And I burst into tears.

“I don’t want this Bhai, I want him to be changed!” this was me, and I left my hands right at the moment and let him go free...

(thanks to the aunty in white sari who didn’t trust a 3 year old child and she had him safe in his hands. later I was explained that every child does this, even I did so he was good except that he would do this at times, but when he grows, he’ll be my best friend, someone who’ll remain with me always)

And he did, for the first few years he was dependent on me, I helped him when mom wasn’t around. Taught him when mom went to office, and to make him teach I had to bribe him. Bribe him with 5star, dairy milk, through the purpose changed with time.

Have been doing this since last seventeen years, and it has all been so beautiful.

Be it making him forcefully drink a tumbler of water when he was just six months old, when I didn’t understand that I disturbed his sleep, and when couldn’t help out the situation, couldn’t stop him from crying started crying with him coz that was the last resort when a 3 yr old and a 6 months baby, don’t know what to do when alone..

But he grew up, he grew up faster than I could understand…he developed his own vocabulary, and we were all made to learn with him. So the scooter the brand I never remembered was coz it was better named “bhaaaaye scooter”(it made a hell lot of noise)

The other vehicle was named “kanikkonda” (kinetic Honda) and his favorite line was “blabloo khol do”(blabloo was door for him and it became for each of us).

Just few years and don’t know when did the small kid became my elder brother, he was the one who held my hand tight when mom- dad came late from office ,and we stood waiting right outside the jhullaghar waiting for them, consoling me “didi,maa abhi aajayegii”…to making me drink the cashew tea he tried(was awful),to always keeping his eyes on me, sensing any discomfort I was in, sensing if I needed anything, to making me eat in exams, helping me out with everything I was confused about, to being a silent spectator when he knew I didn’t want to speak.

The moments have been endless, since the day he came,my life has been fun. More than fun, making my life complete.

I realized this when I had completed an interview of mine, I thought of calling all important people then mom, dad, seniors, close friends(many of whom were actually not bothered, of me having actually given a call) when I suddenly realized I had actually forgotten the little prince of my life.

I called him to tell “mera ho gaya”

And he was like

“dekhaa,dekha maine bolla tha naa tera ho jayegga,ab tu mujhe ek icecream dillayeggi!”

I explained to him I had been talking about having completed my interview, not having got through the institute. And that day I realized after whom all I kept running, to whom I wasn’t actually important anyday, and even if I was it couldn’t have been more than the place he had given me in his life, it was just me who failed.

My friend, my brother, someone who was always with me, who never asked more than a 5star,a dairy milk, or an ice-cream to me, what could I offer him. He wasn’t the first person to have clicked me at the moment just because he was younger, or he didn’t show me my career path?

He had, he always tried to, may be in his own ways…when he didn’t know things and wanted to still advice. I may have been irritated by him then but may be I couldn’t realize what he was, until we would have fought this much. or until this moment came to me

I can go on talking at length about him, but may be if I do that you’ll never dare to visit my blog again. Even if u do not, my job is done.

I love you dear, love you for making this life beautiful.

So I pen down here, but a piece of advice if you people can bear a line more…do not be late in identifying people to whom you are important, rather than giving your share to those to whom you are just nobody.

So wait for that special “moment” to come in your lives and feel lucky if it already did.

Waiting for your valuable comments, to contradict me, to helping me identify life better!