I had not been writing for sometime.
People said have been doleful,
I needed to understand the brighter sides of life and portray them too...
So even if there were moments which hurt, I knew I wasn’t allowed writing. Even If I was an open book the world demanded something else, they wanted something that could interest them. If I was giving out my life, there had to be still something diplomatic.
So I promised myself of giving them a moment of happiness, if not happiness than at least not a moment of sadness. I decided this time I’ll wait for one. And see if it’s worthwhile enough to pen down!
I knew something coming up, end of my engineering…..I knew it would certainly not be a sadistic moment.
Had waited for the day from long.
Each of us never stopped saying, be it any exam, any practical
“ki kab wo din aayegga aur bas chuttkara millegga!” so I knew it was going to be funny.
So even the night before I was going for my last exam, I was sure I could give all of them a reason to smile at least tomorrow. After all only some hours more would make me an engineer! (An 8*5) a 40 day engineer.
Every semester………. starting from the day I came up in the college, whenever I would screw up a paper,
I would promise myself,
“Bas agli baar se shuru se padhungge!”
“ Par kutte ki pooch bhi kabhi seedhee huyee hai bhaallla”.
“To hamaree kaise ho jatee!”
The four years passed by like this only.
Someone making the assignments, someone taking out the printouts,
and the rest of the class simply paying them on the day of the exams. (After all the whole class apart from these two was busy , they had jobs to be done which were much more important, they were coming to the college …wasn’t this more than enough)
This was the practical part of being an engineer and theoretical couldn’t have been without god! (Lord Balaji and Goddess Shivani).
The whole semester we would buy books and at the last moment when time didn’t allow giving due respect to them, we had just “Shivani”…
Suddenly there was a ring, which brought me back to the world where I had a paper tomorrow, a chapter was unexplored and the clock was showing 1:15….. I was back to my senses.
I checked there was a sms which read
“kitna hua???”
These were the messages and miss calls that kept me awake and alive during the exams, but tomorrow was an end to it all…at least before the joining!
So it was going to be a big break, after long.
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We went to college, rather than revising things, we were cracking jokes coz we knew we would mange passing….after all
“Haathi to nikal hee chukaaa ttha,baaki ttthe to bas poonch”!
While giving the exam, the thing I least wanted to do was write, wanted to run out after I would have managed a 35…when people around me were taking supplementary, I checked if I could even mange filling this one. And when I was sure I was managing it (former one (a 35), not the latter) there I was out of the hall…to search out the special feeling.
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And finally am an engineer, the enthusiasm seems all loosed out;
There is nothing special I feel for the moment which was waited and has come…
I have been trying hard from past three days, that there’s something which I could feel, some special crown over my head, some angels around…
All I feel is boredom, and now I think it wasn’t a bad idea seeing friends around for no good reason, hanging out on sanchi, just for time pass, and going for a long drive everyday(to college)..
And look at the discontent,
It always wants something which is either gone or is coming up. When in school we wait for the college, when in college we wait for it to end and look in for a job and when working we look back to those old days.
And see even am a part of it,
And am still hopeful of a special feeling coming up, anticipating that it shows up soon!
